Ever feels like time really flies? One day when you look at your parents, you suddenly realize that they are growing old. You can actually spot the wrinkles, the loose skins, the aching muscle and the shaking hands. Tears came to my eyes thinking that they might leave me one day. I cannot imagine my life without them. How I wish there is no death in this world and we could all live our current lives until eternity. 

My friends once asked me what I would ask for if I am given a wish and I told them that I will wish for the disappearance of death from this world, which means eternal life. They disagreed with my idea since we would be so sick of it after living hundreds of years. They argued with me non-stop and in the end, I was just too tired to explain my thinking to them. Sometimes, you just have to stay silent because no one can understand what is going on in your mind. 

All I hoped for is not to lose my current friends and family, who knows we might not meet them back in our next lives and even if we will, there will be no memories of them at all, none! And what happens if we meet a trash family and lives a tortured life in our next lives? The list goes on endlessly and I just had to wish staying next to my current family members and friends, forever.

Maybe I am naive, maybe I have a childish mind, but that is my wish and it will never change, at least in the near future. However, in reality, life goes on and we have to follow the rule, whether we like it or not. Every second, our times are counting down, just like how a candle is burning out. What we can do is, in the time we have left, appreciate life and people around us. Do not let ourselves regret when time is finally up because there will be no way to rewind it.

Growing up, you will come to realize that people often come and go in your life. You find it hard to meet a real friend who is sincerely good to you, who cares for you, who understands you. When you have finally met the one you thought would never let you down, but sadly, reality hits you with a heartbreaking distance. How would you feel if you realized that you are just a passerby in the life of someone whom you favor the most?

For the last couple of months, life has been very difficult and emotionally painful for me. My heart was ripped apart and I felt that I can no longer cope with the pain. Tears roll down every now and then but I could not free myself from the pain. The stronger side of me is nowhere to be seen, so I put on a mask to hide my negative feelings. I wish to feel some love, care and dependency, but emptiness is all I end up with. I gave up on this tiring journey trying to figure out what went wrong, and this might be the best way to mend my broken soul.

As I detach myself from the heartache, I learnt that I would rather have fewer genuine friends than a group of pretentious strangers. I would rather spend time alone than pretending to be happy around people. I wonder if all of these are a part of growing up.